explanation. Your Family Members are not Wedding Vendors

I get a lot of great emails every week from our posts entitled "Your (family member) is not...." and we also receive a very rare nasty comment or two. So, I thought I'd write a little something to explain our thought process behind our posts.

I mentioned in our first post of the series "Your mom is not a planner" that I thought about what to write for quite some time. My goal is never to offend anyone, but to educate. I hear from brides and mothers alike...that they love the series. So I know, we are doing something right.

First, we write our posts from previous experiences of our own and recommendations of other wedding vendors in our hometown and across the nation. We also, have those same vendors read our entries before we post them to our blog. This way, we know that our work has been double checked before the public can read it. It helps with grammar, but also with the education piece that I mentioned above.

Second, it is obvious that some "readers" stop at the title of each post..rather than actually reading the entire thing. I know that they can get lengthy...but there is some great information to share. We always make sure to explain that there are some mothers who are amazing florists...or amazing amateurs florists....or your Dad might really be a professional photographer...We are not discrediting those people. We are merely speaking from the little experiences of life.

Finally...even if your mom is a great florist, your brother an amazing DJ or your dad an out of this world Photographer...Do you really want them to work on your wedding day? And what if they mess something up (not on purpose...but things happen). Are you going to be able to let them live those mistakes down?

Your Brother Is Not A DJ

So we are back…with another part to our very popular series “Your mom is not a (insert bridal vendor here)”. Each time I sit down to write for this series in particular I get a bit nervous. I definitely don’t want to insult anyone, but I feel it is my job as a wedding professional to give the truth to clients and friends alike. While it is very generous and kind of your family to offer to donate their non-trained services to you on your wedding day it is also truly doing you an injustice. While saving money is a definite plus…saving embarrassment is probably what you’d like more of on your wedding day.

I have said it once and I’ll say it again…a DJ can make or break any affair! We have had relatively “boring” weddings that were definitely spruced up by an amazing DJ….and we have also had very beautiful events for some of the most energetic, in love clients ever that have had their weddings pretty much ruined by a bad DJ…or a “DJ” that was a friend.

First, let me explain a small but very important difference in DJ’s. There are a few different kinds of DJ’s and you should be mindful of who you are hiring. (Or who is offering to help you).

First, there is a Radio DJ…This DJ is great to listen to in your car, but they don’t necessarily have the same experience with events as they do with keeping your ride home from work enjoyable. Many Radio DJ’s do not have their own equipment or insurance as your wedding venue might require. 

Next, there is your CLUB DJ…also, a very big difference between your wedding DJ and a radio DJ. A Club DJ might be known for making announcements such as “the bar is closing” or “the little black dress contest is starting”…but definitely not for keeping up with traditions such as cutting the cake or introducing you to your guests for the first time as Mr. & Mrs.… a time when tradition and fun are to be mixed, with great levels of care and class. A club DJ is an absolute pro at pumping the base (and maybe even a few fists)…but not necessarily for the first dance type of crowd.

Finally, there is a wedding DJ. This person is skilled in getting grandma on the dance floor without boring your 20 something aged crowd to tears. They know how to stall a toast while the bride gets all of the cake off of her face (that the groom has so romantically smashed up her nose)…They know how to line up a bridal party, read a crowd and know that if a very lively crowd quickly leaves the dance floor that it’s time to fade to a new song. Being a wedding DJ is an art…they have to be fun not cheesy, well dressed and appropriate…they have to get everyone on the dance floor from age 8 to 80 while following the strict wishes of the people in charge. The Bride & Groom.

Now you might ask, why did she explain the difference in DJ’s….why can’t my brother play my playlist on my iPod and just let it roll without minimum interruptions. Because that’s the truth right? You want a mix of all 3 types of DJ”s without the expense? You want a radio DJ that knows what’s hot and popular, the fun of a Club DJ that can keep the floor moving all night and the experience with tradition of a wedding DJ….and you think your brother has been to enough events as a guest to know how to incorporate all 3 of these for FREE! And the truth is: can you come up with a kickin’ playlist? Yes…but is he insured? Does he have the right type of sound equipment (and yes each venue might need something a bit different)? Does he have a microphone (actually 2) for the priest, toasts, and impromptu serenades? Can he read a crowd and slowly fade into another song when all of your guests leave the dance floor…because your pre-made guest list wasn’t working out exactly how you thought it should be. Probably Not...Save the embarrassment, add a bit of expense and have any amazing time at your wedding...The one where your family is there for one reason and one reason only: To enjoy your new marriage while they celebrate your love.  

Think about it.

Your Uncle is not a Stationer...

Your Uncle is not a Stationer…

I have heard from many different vendors and clients in the past weeks that the reason they enjoy my blog  posts so much are because I “keep it real”… So I thought, why stop now. We heard great feedback last week about our “your mom is not a…” series and have quite a few more topics that we’d like to shed light on, but first let me open up your mind to the topic of “Graphic Artist/Designer” vs. “Stationer”. We deal with both in the events world…but I thought it was important to tell you what you need to look out for when deciding who you would like to use for your wedding stationery, invitations, thank you notes, menu cards, table numbers, etc.

At Antonia Christianson Events we offer stationery design services with the help of two graphic designers… both well versed in invitations and what needs to be included… but we also act as a stationer through selling stationery out of a few select books and wholesale products.  But often times, we send our clients down the road to our good friends at a Local Stationery Store. Let me explain our thought process…

I hear often times from clients that their friend, brother, uncle, co-worker, etc. are graphic artists by profession…which always  excites me because I love the idea of completely customizing your event…and one of those easy ways is through your stationery. But more times than not your “graphic artist friend” goes to the local craft store, gets a printable stationery kit, puts your information into the already created template and calls it a customized invitation suite. LET”S GET REAL! You could do this yourself… Now, I do have a few clients whose “graphic artist friends” do get a bit more creative and order special papers to really “do it up”... which is awesome! Our only complaint is, we have had many experiences  where these “artists” don’t know what is wrong and what is right. They don’t know to put a line on the RSVP card so your  guests can respond with their name or they leave off the food options for a plated dinner. Some “artists”   event print off (and make you pay for )double the amount of stationery needed because they don’t create stationery often enough to know that for a wedding of 100 guests you only need about 50 invitations… remember, my husband and I are 2 people on your guest list, but we only receive 1 invitation. (Let me say this one thing…there are amazing graphic artists in the events world that do create beautifully fantastic invitations or stationery… but these are people that usually solely work in the events world, not your friend that creates print ads or websites for a living….there is a HUMUNGOUS difference).  

So how does this differ from a stationer?

A stationer is a bit different. A stationer usually offers many different options for your stationery needs. Many local stationers offer invitation suites from books, online and also through custom creation. This is different from a graphic artist because they specialize in event invitation etiquette… They can usually offer many different options depending on your particular price range and printing needs such as digital printing, thermography and letter press.

Locally we have a great option that mixes all of the above choices in one great store; RSVP Stationery in the Chambord Commons Area of Virginia Beach. I know…you are probably thinking why do you send clients to another store when you carry many of the same options? And here is the truth: RSVP offers everything under one roof… they have options for complete custom stationery (something many of our clients use them for), as well as options for letterpress, thermography, computer calligraphy and digital printing. Plus they are pros in anything etiquette… and they can answer all of the unique to you situations that will arise in your perfect stationery search.

Here are a few different stationery options:

all above images courtesy of Scott Hayne Photography 

Above Image Courtesy of Kelly Lee Photography 

Above Image Courtesy of Dee Akright Photographers

Your Dad is not a Wedding Photographer...

Your Dad Is Not A Wedding Photographer…

I’m sure by now you are far enough into the wedding planning process that you realize the “easy way” is not always the “best way”! But I’d like to teach you about how the “easy way” is really the “I’m going to spend more money fixing the mistakes of non-professionals way”.

I often have the same conversation with almost every one of my clients. It starts something like, when I got engaged the total wedding budget in my head was really low and now that I’m planning I am beginning to understand how much weddings truly cost….and then sometimes this conversation morphs into something that sounds like nails down a chalkboard to the professional planner…something like, I think I’ll just have my mom make my floral arrangements (you know she’s a great gardener) and then maybe have my dad or brother take our pictures (they take a really great snapshot).

Sounds amazing right? WRONG!

I tell each and every one of my clients the same thing… (and if I insult your profession, I apologize in advance). The most important things at a wedding are your food and your photography. Your food because your guests might not remember any other detail that you slaved over, but if your food is cold, dry, “gross”, ordinary, etc, they will remember, and complain (sad but true!)… And your photography because all you will have to remember those little details with when everything is said and done are those images that your photographer captures.

Now let’s get real…I’m going to explain just a few very important reasons why your Dad, best friend, 2^nd cousin, brother, etc, are not the best choice as your wedding photographer…unless of course, they are a professional.

1.   Let’s start with the obvious, your family is not insured. If they ruin your pictures or forget to put a memory card into their camera you are out of Luck!

2.They quite possibly could run out of memory and then the last picture they capture is you walking down the aisle. What about your vows, your first kiss, your cake cutting, toasts, exit, etc.

What if, what if, what if?  

3.They also will probably not have the event knowledge to know that all of those memory cards have to be backed up. Immediately.

4. Uncle Bobby, may take a great snapshot but probably won’t have the knowledge to shoot when that sunset ceremony turns into a sea of darkness because you got down the aisle 5 minutes late and all light is gone.

5. They will not have the professional resources to post-process, edit or even print those amazing snapshots they took of your day.

We could go on for days, literally on the positive points of hiring professionals to handle all of the “details” of your big day…If you still don’t understand, ask us and we’ll explain more. 

Your Mom is Not A Florist: unless of course she is!

Your Mom Is Not A Florist…

I originally wrote this post for the famed blog of Sasha Souza last year...we will be posting blogs from this series all week as we explain the ins and outs of "your friends, your mom and your wedding". I hope you get a bit of insight into why hiring professionals can only help your wedding experience...not hinder it. 

Image Courtesy of Scott Hayne Photography

Coming from the East Coast I am always curious if planners and wedding vendors across the nation have the same trials and tribulations while dealing with clients and the wedding planning process as I do...and through the magic of Social Networking I am able to talk to vendors all over the U.S. that answer this query easily..YES! We all deal with similar situations and of course we come across some issues that are region specific but for the most part, we all have the same ups and downs. With that said…I’ll give you a little background into the series I call “Your Mom Is Not A…” Most recently, we posted your “Mom is not a Wedding Planner” on our own business blog but after speaking with Sasha I thought a great topic no matter where you lived would be “Your Mom is not a Florist.” Unless of course, she is.

We find that many clients hire a Wedding Planner for three main reasons. One, they don’t know where to begin…they don’t know how to make those little girl dreams come to fruition and they need the help of a wedding professional. Two, because they feel as though they can handle the wedding planning process but need our help orchestrating the biggest production of their lives thus far. OR Three, because while they love their parents, they would like a mediator to help make sure their dream day is what the bride and groom wants not Mom and dad…well, Mostly Mom. Knowing those three main reasons the sad but true issue is that we are hired very often for the latter of the three reasons.

I bring up these three trends for one reason…why, if we are hired to keep peace amongst mother/daughter would you “hire your mom” to make one of the most important items on your wedding day… Your Bridal Bouquet? Why would you hire her to make your floral centerpieces? I could ask a million questions, but instead, I’d like to give a little insight. First, imagine your mom on your wedding day or the days leading up to the big day? She will be stressed enough about the million and one duties and emotions that are overwhelming her with having only one job…being your Mother or the MOB. That stress alone is likely to drive a woman insane, then you’d ask her to create your bouquet, your bridal party bouquets, boutonnières, altar pieces, centerpieces (would you like for me to go on?). In a time when money is an everyday topic and mentioning the economy is almost as bad as a four letter word many brides are trying to figure out how they can save money on their wedding expenses and many usually turn to the fun world of “DIY projects.” And while the thought of turning your wedding into a DIY affair might be glorious… realism should fit somewhere into the equation. So let’s go over a few pros and cons:

Pro:

You could save money by not paying labor charges.

Con:

Your stressed out mom  will waste money by buying more flowers than she needs (does your mom really know exactly how many stems she needs for 4 bouquets, a bridal bouquet, 5 boutonnières  and 10 centerpieces?).

Pro:

You will save money by not paying a florist to deliver your floral items.

Con:

You will waste money buy paying more per stem for flower (florists get great discounts through their floral wholesaler)

Con:

You will waste money buy paying more for ribbon for your bouquets (again florists get great discounts on floral accents {including ribbon} through their floral wholesaler)

Con:

Your mom will waste her energy from the hours and hours of work that she will have to do alone when a professional florist could easily spread out the duties of your wedding to their entire staff.

Con:

The beautiful perfectly symmetrical spherical masterpiece that you had always envisioned is an oblong somewhat cascading far cry from your dream bouquet was supposed to be…

Con:

Your flowers could very possibly be ruined when your mom sticks them in your refrigerator to keep cold. While your florist might keep their flowers in a walk-in cooler this is held at certain temperatures…the temperature of your own refrigerator will most likely burn your flowers (or at least the ones that will fit)…Do you think you’ll have room for dozens upon dozens of stems of roses for bouquets, stephanotis or orchids for your boutonnières and 4000 loose calla lilies for your centerpieces…Just move the eggs, that might help.

 Let’s be realistic…Does the thought of you overwhelming your mother on the most important day of your life really sound so dreamlike now? 

Your Mom Is Not A Wedding Planner: Part 1

I first posted this article last September after much consideration and thought into the topic at hand...and since then the "Your Mom Is Not A...." series has been some of our most read blog posts.  (1 was even featured on the national blog of Sasha Souza)! All week we will be reposting the series and even adding a few new topics. If there is a topic you'd like for us to write about, just let us know! 

 

I have been debating whether or not to write this blog post for quite some time... a year or more honestly... and each time I go to write it I debate whether or not people will understand the importance, the thought behind it and this simple fact: I am not writing this article so that you automatically come and ask me about my services (while yes I would love that...this was not my thought process)...but so that you hire a licensed, insured planner, at least on your day (if not as a full service option). OK, so now that I am done with the disclaimer I will continue...

I hear "NO" alot in my profession. Point Blank, "NO." Which is fine, except for one thing. I think every woman deserves the day she has always dreamt of...this might be the romantic, daydreaming 5 year old in me...but nonetheless the way I feel. I have heard many friends, sorority sisters, former co-workers and even present clients say that they would just have their friend coordinate their wedding day (or their mom, or their sister, or their cousin...you get the point). So, I thought I'd explain one simple thing when it comes to event planning: You can absolutely plan your wedding by yourself, with the help of loved ones and recommendations from random friends, but when it comes to your wedding day you want all that hard work to play out as you have planned. You want your well choreographed performance to be just as well directed...and while your friends have been there throughout the planning process they are only ready to direct a performance where nothing goes wrong, where "Plan A" is all that you need...but what happens when you get to Act 2 (or the reception) and the power is off at the reception venue, your wedding cake is molded and your caterer doesn't bring enough staff to serve 50 people let alone 250 people (all things that have happend this past wedding season)... then your poor misguided "mistress of ceremonies" is to take the blame, for everything that has gone wrong...only because she was stuck in a position where she was ill-prepared. She was ready to go with Plan A, but unfortunately, she needed plans A, B, C & D. 

While we are on the subject of misconceptions and overwhelming your friends, let's talk about your caterer or "on site wedding coordinator"....Please don't be fooled when your beautiful venue tells you that they offer a full service or "on site coordinator", "YES, this is too good to be true!". This person is great for things like making sure your food is served warm or possibly setting your already created centerpeices on the table, but they will not help you with the above "situations" that might occur. Now I know you are thinking that these are extreme sitatuions, but these were all situations at weddings where the bride decided at the last minute (within 3 weeks of the wedding) to book a "month of coordination" package...and each of them stated how truly glad they were that there was someone other than a loved one to handle these nearly disasterous situations.